Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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