Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
There's always time for handjobs
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
