He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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