remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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