o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
she looked like the before picture.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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