Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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