so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
