People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
