It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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