It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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