Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
