I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
