Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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