i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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