I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
