I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
