you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
