Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just want nice things and good sex
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
