if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
