i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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