i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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