Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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