I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize