Will you blow on my dice?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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