I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
