**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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