apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
