i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
wow bdsm is so cute
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize