i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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