Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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