Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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