I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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