no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
