for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Oh god it's open bar.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
