yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he thought i was a dude.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
