yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize