wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
