honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
