Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
My life is pants optional.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
