just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
