I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
