i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
the raccoons are back...
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