I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
