I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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