Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize