Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
