Do vagina's smell?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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