Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
