There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize