i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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