The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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