Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
