I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
