Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
