I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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