There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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