i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
