I heard we made out
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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